Sidewalks

Category: Health & Wellness

  • How to Own Your Shit

    How to Own Your Shit

     

     

    Recently, I stumbled upon an infuriating video essay by one of my favourite creators, Final Girl Studios. In her video,  “Stealing Girlhood: The Legacy of Women’s Work Being Stolen,” the creator delves into how Sam Levinson appropriated artist and photographer Petra Collins’s unique vision without giving her ANY credit. It’s a thought-provoking video that explores the aggravating history of men stealing women’s work.

     

    This video got me reflecting on my conversation with my friend about men and intelligence and how little women have contributed to arts, literature, finance, and music compared to men. He said, “There has never been a female Mozart.”

     

    Later, I found out that there had been one—his sister, who, get this, inspired Mozart. She was a prolific musician who made a name for herself across Europe as a child prodigy. Tragically, since she was a woman, she was sidelined and forced to get married instead of pursuing her love for music.

     

    This is exactly the kind of narrative that infuriates me. Growing up in a traditional brown family, it was ingrained in my mind that the ultimate goal for a woman is to marry a rich man to secure her future. But let me be very clear: a man is NOT a plan.

     

    The consequences of this limited mindset are clearly visible in the lives of many of my aunts and cousins. Many of my aunts and cousins are stuck in unhappy marriages, lacking financial independence and unable to escape the hell of their making. When I speak with married women in my family, ALL of them have repeatedly urged women to be actively involved with their finances.

     

    My mother often shared how she had no authority or ownership over her money. My father had the last word if someone needed to borrow money from my parents. This relationship dynamic extended beyond finances- he held authority over household matters, parenting, and relationship matters.

     

    When I asked her why she accepted this, she simply replied, “That’s just how things were. It’s better this way than to stir up problems.”

     

    While I can’t blame her or any woman, it highlights a painful truth: misogyny is not inherent. We, as women, are taught to view ourselves as lesser than men, and that’s not your fault. It does not mean you have failed in any way if threads of patriarchy were woven into the fabric of who you are.

     

    Even today, women are consistently left behind financially. Personal finance advice directed at women focuses on budgeting, cutting spending, and saving — in contrast, advice to men encourages earning more, investing, and growing financial literacy. But did you know that it’s actually riskier to just save and not invest?

     

    Ladies, let’s be real for a second. Women couldn’t get credit cards on their own until 1974. The Equal Pay Act, which prohibits wage discrimination based on gender, is only 57 years old. We weren’t allowed to own property without a husband only until recently.

     

    We weren’t just kept out of the game—we *were* the game. But guess what? That’s history. Today, we have the power to own more than just a house or a bank account. We can own our entire financial destiny. And if you’re ready to take control, this is how you do it. Let’s own our shit together.

     

    1. Meet the real you

    The first step to owning your shit is to peel back the layers so you can meet the real you. Finance has been designed to feel exclusive, but that ends now. You don’t need a degree or to speak like a Wall Street banker to understand how money works.

    This is all about being an active participant in your finances. Awareness is the first step to taking ownership. What’s coming in? What’s going out? What do you own? This is about being aware, not ashamed.

     

    1. You are never too old to learn new things

    Keep learning and start from the basics. Understand what assets are—stocks, real estate, investments. These are the things that grow in value and build wealth.

    Get familiar with the language. The world of finance and investing is still overwhelmingly male-dominant and discriminatory in not-so-subtle ways. You deserve to be in these conversations.

     

    1. Own your shit, literally

    Savings are important, but saving alone doesn’t build wealth. You know what does? Ownership. When you own things—property, investments, businesses—you build the kind of wealth that gives you freedom and choices.

     

    1. Protect your wealth

    Protect your money like you protect your energy. Women’s security gets stripped away, so this is about holding onto what we’ve worked for. Owning our shit isn’t just about building it—it’s about protecting it. Insurance, wills, estate planning—all those “boring” things people put off—are the things that ensure what’s yours stays yours. It’s another layer of empowerment, knowing that no one can mess with what we’ve built.

     

    1. Be greedy, be ambitious!

    I want us to stop apologizing for wanting more. More money, more opportunities, more control. You can demand more from your career, investments, and life.

    That means negotiating your salary, asking for that raise, or building your empire. Owning your shit means standing in your worth and refusing to settle. It’s time to stop playing small in a system that’s finally starting to recognize what we bring to the table. Know that you are worthy of all that you desire and more.

     

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    Note: Thank you for tuning into this financial chat!  Afsha and I had the best time putting this post together for you. We hope it made your day a bit brighter (and wealthier!) 💰🌟❤️

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    Thank you so much, Afsha! Do you have a money question? Let us know in the comments below…

     

     

     

  • Find Out What’s Really on Your Mind

    Find Out What’s Really on Your Mind

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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    Source Credits- School of Life 

  • 6 Things I’ve Stopped Doing For Peaceful Life

    6 Things I’ve Stopped Doing For Peaceful Life

    Have you ever felt like being happy is not enough?

    Well, I have.

    I’ve been thinking about what really matters in life.

    And you know what?

    Being happy all the time isn’t it.

    What’s more important is feeling at peace with your life and having no regrets or longing for something else.

    I’ve consciously poured my energy into positivity, productivity, consistency, and hard work.

    And the result?

    There is a lot more calmness, peace, and clarity in my life. It’s amazing what a little bit of focus and effort can do.

    My ultimate goal is to transform into a more positive, calm, and creative version of myself.

    And to achieve that, I had to make some changes.

    For starters, I stopped doing things these SIX things that were holding me back and keeping me from living a peaceful and fulfilled life

     

     

    1. Continuously live in my comfort zone 

     

    I remember being stuck in a 9 to 5 job; every day felt like the same old thing. 

    Wake up at 7 am, head to the office, take a lunch break at 12:15 pm, wrap up work at 5 pm, make dinner, and get ready to do it all over again. 

    Ugh, it was incredibly boring and unchallenging. 

    But here’s what I learned: your comfort zone may feel safe and cozy, but it’s dangerous. It stunts your personal growth and development and holds back progress. Sticking to familiarity means you’re not moving forward. 

    You must step into the unknown and take the road less travelled to evolve. It’s time to challenge yourself and break free from the monotony. 

    Embrace change, and you’ll find your days filled with growth, progress, and fulfillment.

     

    2. Compare where I am in life to where others are

     

    Instagram is to blame. Whenever I open it up, I see someone celebrating Christmas in London, going on a trip with their girl gang to Switzerland, or attending Lana Del Rey’s concert in Paris. 

    It makes me feel like they’re making money, travelling the world, and falling in love while I’m not doing anything worth mentioning. 

    And then, I start to expect the same things for myself based on what I see. 

    But here’s the thing, my friend – we have the power to change this.

     Instead of spending hours scrolling through our feeds, we can focus on what truly matters, whether it’s spending quality time with family and friends, growing our businesses, or simply enjoying the beauty of nature. 

    So, let’s put social media on the back burner and focus on what makes life genuinely peaceful. 

     

    3. Staying quiet when something/someone has bothered me 

     

    Have you ever felt like bottling up your emotions when deeply hurt? I know I have. 

    As an INFJ, I tend to give the silent treatment, become ice cold and slam the door shut, cutting off all contact and unfollowing people from social media. 

    It’s like they never existed in my life. 

    But the truth is, I don’t hate them. I feel nothing towards them. 

    I used to suppress my emotions and deal with them through writing. However, I’ve realized it’s not the healthiest way to cope. 

    Now, I’m learning to communicate openly and address my problems head-on instead of cutting people off without warning. 

    It’s a process, but I’m getting there.

     

    4. Overthinking about past & future events 

     

    It’s 3 am. You are wide awake and can’t seem to catch a break from your racing thoughts. You are beating yourself over what could’ve been, all the things you could have done. Or, you are paralyzed with stress and worries about tomorrow.

    Trust me, I know how tough it is to shake off that feeling.

     But guess what? 

    I’ve got a little secret that has helped me a lot.

     Instead of dwelling on things I cannot control, I pour my energy into creating things that bring me purpose and joy. 

    Starting this blog is one way I channel my energy into something meaningful. And you can do it too!

     

    5. Continuously give people chances over & over again

     

    Stop giving people third, fourth, and fifth chances ONLY for them to be creative with how they can disappoint you again. I am not a big believer in second chances. If the past has taught me anything, it’s this: people who genuinely care for you won’t put themselves in a position to disappoint you, hurt you, or worse, lose you forever. 

     

    6. Check my phone first thing in the morning

     

    Or, the last thing before I go to bed.

     I must admit that I don’t follow this all the time, but I’m working on it.

     Lately, I’ve been trying to get into the habit of journaling before going to bed. It’s a great way to unwind and reflect on my day. 

    To make things easier, I’ve been using some healing journaling prompts that help me stay focused and avoid getting sidetracked by random YouTube videos. 

    Of course, there are nights when I give in to temptation and end up watching Heart Evangelista’s vlogs or drooling over a cheesy garlic bread recipe. But hey, progress is progress, right?

     

    Is there anything you’d add to this list? What are your daily rituals that help you feel more at peace? I’d love to know xoxoxo

     

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    P.S.  Secrets to making your life magical

     

    Featured Image Credits- Katja Perez

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • 8 Financial Tips for Women to Achieve Financial Freedom

    8 Financial Tips for Women to Achieve Financial Freedom

    I used to be easily tempted by things I didn’t really need. 

    Whether it was a fifth vanilla-scented candle for my home or a new eyeshadow palette, I always found myself giving in to unnecessary purchases. 

     Even when I was younger, I spent my parents’ money on clothes, shoes, and everything sparkly without thinking twice. 

    As a teenager, my appetite for sparkly designer shoes and handbags only grew stronger, and I ended up with more than I could ever use.

    But now, I’ve learned to resist those impulsive urges. I can admire a pair of sparkly Jimmy Choo shoes from afar without feeling the need to add them to my collection. 

    I’ve come to realize that true happiness doesn’t come from material possessions. Instead, it comes from the joy of knowing I have everything I need and can appreciate the little things in life.

    As a woman, taking charge of your finances is crucial for achieving financial freedom. 

    To help you get started on your journey towards financial empowerment, we have compiled eight essential financial tips that are guaranteed to take your money game to the next level, regardless of your financial expertise. As the saying goes, “A woman’s best protection is a little money of her own.” 

    We understand that financial jargon and complex numbers can be overwhelming, so we promise to keep things fun and engaging. With our sprinkle of financial fairy dust, you’ll be on your way to achieving your financial goals in no time. 

    So, let’s dive in and take the first step towards financial empowerment.

    1. Budgeting for bliss

    A budget is like a financial roadmap that helps you keep track of your income and expenses. Create a weekly and monthly budget to be in control of your money. By creating a budget, you become more intentional with your money. It helps you save money, avoid debt, and achieve your financial goals. This is the foundation of financial management. Here are some apps to help you plan your budget.  Or, you could try this budget planner book. 

    2. Emergency Fund 

    My mother always said, “Money saved is money earned.” She always taught me the value of saving up three or six months of living expenses. This way, when any unexpected events arise, as they always do, you’ll be ready to tackle unforeseen circumstances. 

    This life-changing tip helped me when I wanted to quit my soul-sucking nine to five job. Had it not been for my emergency fund, I wouldn’t have been able to take a year off to relax and work on myself. 

    3. Credit Card Caution

    Credit cards are like a double-edged sword. They can be your best friend when you need to make purchases but your worst enemy when you receive your bill. The thrill of shopping can be short-lived when you see how much debt you have accumulated.

     Luckily, I was taught by my frugal mother to live within my means and avoid credit card debt. Here’s some big sister advice for you: use credit cards wisely, pay off your balance every month, and avoid high-interest rates. Doing so will improve your credit score and avoid the monstrous credit card debt.

    4. Investing 101

    Investing is often associated with those in suits and ties, Wall Street guys, and the wealthy, but it’s wise for anyone who wants to secure a stable financial future. I know firsthand because I hired a financial advisor who introduced me to a mutual fund and a retirement account. 

    By contributing a certain percentage of my income to these accounts every month, I’m able to watch my money grow over time. Investing is like planting seeds for your financial future; the earlier you start, the better the harvest.

    5. Negotiate Like a Pro

    For the longest time, I used to pay the asking price for everything because I was too shy and embarrassed to bargain. Stop paying the asking price for everything. Embrace your inner bargainer and negotiate for a better deal. 

    Don’t be afraid to ask for a better deal, whether it’s a large item, your income, or your bills. Be bold and confident in your negotiations. Remember that you have the power to get what you want by simply asking for it.

    6. Keep an Eye on Your Credit Score 

    Your credit score is like your financial report card. Keep your credit card balance low, pay your bills on time, and regularly review your credit report. A good credit score can open doors and lead to lower interest rates. 

    7. Plan for the Future

    Start planning for retirement today! Contributing to your employer’s retirement plan and individual retirement accounts (IRAs) are great options to consider. 

    Contributing to these plans and letting compound interest work its magic allows you to set yourself up for a comfortable and secure retirement. 

    8. Financial Education

    Investing in your financial education is a powerful tool that can lead to a brighter future. By reading books, attending workshops, and keeping up with finance blogs, you gain the knowledge necessary to confidently make sound financial decisions. Remember that you hold the power to shape your financial reality.

     

    Did you find these tips helpful? Is there anything else you would add to this list? Let us know in the comments 😀

     

  • Five Ways To Deal With The Post Holiday Blues.

    Five Ways To Deal With The Post Holiday Blues.

    Hiiiiii, Happy New Year!!!

    I hope you had a wonderful holiday.  

    I want to kick off 2021 by saying this:

    If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s completely okay. It’s the first Monday after the holidays. Mondays are hard, Januarys are hard, and resuming work after a holiday break is especially tough. 

    For me, the first week after any break is dreadful. Especially the time after Christmas and new year festivities are done. Now that all the excitement is over and our lives’ demands are starting to pile up again. Around this time, many experience what experts refer to as the post-holiday blues.

     And, you are not alone in feeling tired, unmotivated and nostalgic. Always remember, you are not alone; we are all in this together. 

     But what if we looked at things differently? The new year is upon us and with it brings a blank canvas of opportunities to illustrate your life with endless exciting possibilities. 

    Here are SIX ways other than exercising, I have been doing to overcome my post-holiday blues, and I hope it helps you too:

    1) Make a vision board

    Picture Credits Mathnasium

    I have to admit, I have never been a vision board person; however, being a recent student of the law of attraction, I had to put all my learnings to practice-the first step being making a vision board for 2021. 

    To my surprise, I have to admit the process of making a vision board filled me up with excitement. I started by focusing on how I wanted to feel this year and the goals I wanted to accomplish. Thus, I began creating a sacred space of all my dreams and plans I wanted to see come to life. By the end of it, I felt positively energized, revitalized and ready to take on the world. 

    TIP: When making a vision board, always focus on how you want to feel. For example,- if your vision board has a picture of your dream house. Below it, you could write, “thank you so much, the universe, for making this beautiful house my reality. Thank you for the kindness, blessings, growth, abundance and love.”

    I learnt this little trick in the Law Of Attraction Workshop that I took at the end of last year, and implementing things I’ve learnt since has worked wonders for me. 

    2) Declutter your space

    Happy home is happy soul!!

    We all need to have our sanctuary that’s sacred to us-and it starts at home. 

    Decluttering my space to kick off the new year was not on my pre-planned agenda. However, I didn’t have an option-given I was moving to my new place. Now, being a borderline clean freak, I am aware of the magical effects of decluttering your space. 

    Given, we are spending more time than ever in our house, it’s essential we give ourselves the necessity of a clean and sacred place. Deep cleaning and organizing every nook of our new apartment gave me a sense of control of my living space. To me, that seemed like an excellent way to kick off my new apartment and the new year. 

    3) Schedule the friend time

    Girlfriends are good for the soul!!!

    After all the parties, events, family get-togethers, your social calendar can start to look a bit empty. Now is the perfect time to schedule an in-person friend time. Delicious food, decadent dessert and good conversations are the secret sauce to a happy life. There’s nothing in life that a true friend cannot fix. 

    4) Take up healthy eating habits

    Yes, please!!!!

    The best part about the holidays is the holiday food tradition; all the cookies and candies are undoubtedly divine. As we all know, too much sugar also has a crash and burn effect on your body, which is why it’s an excellent idea to kick-off the new year by going on a junk foo fast. 

    Plus, eating clean comes with an abundance of mental clarity, motivation, and a lot of energy and drive to improve every aspect of your life. 

    5) Remember all the beautiful moments of holidays

    A beautiful holiday moment I’m thankful for.

    Make some hot tea or hot chocolate, light up the candles, play some light lofi music and reflect on the right and positive things about the holidays in your journal. Here are some probing questions to get you started:

    • What was the most memorable conversation you had? 
    • What was the most meaningful gift you received?
    • What was the funniest thing that happened?
    • What is that one disaster that turned into something positive?

    Or better yet, take up scrapbooking- something that’s lost in the realm of the digital world. Make a fun little scrapbook documenting all the beautiful memories in it. It will be a treasure for your family that you can share with your family at the next get-together. 

    Finally, remember this shall too pass. Every new year presents itself the opportunity for us to re-write our life’s narrative. Focus on the positive and embrace the unknown. 

    Sending so much love your way 🙂

    xx

    Yachna

    I’m curious to know, are you experiencing any post-holiday blues? How are you coping with it? I’d love to hear some of your tips in the comments below. 

    P.S.

    Here are some other posts, if you’re in a blog-reading mood: What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever read, a beautiful love story and many more.

  • Do You Have A Hobby?

    Do You Have A Hobby?

    Earlier this week, my cousin asked me to help with her art project. I readily agreed, wanting a break from the monotony of my days. I was pleasantly surprised, but it also made me realize that…

    I don’t have a hobby.

    Sure, I love reading books, listening to music, hanging out with my friends, long walks (if it counts as one?) or this blog. I am not sure if it counts as a hobby. Eventually, all of them seemed like work or a task sometimes, no matter how much I adore doing in my weekly routine. And on these long winter nights with strict quarantine regulations, it was refreshing to help my cousin with her project.

    Shortly after, she explained to me the project- to use cuts outs from magazines, books, newspapers or comics and implement different art forms using the cutouts. Naturally, my interest piqued in her little art project. With everything going in the world with politics, work and mentally preparing for the cold weather ahead, I found it was calming to have a little hobby that required my full attention. Furthermore, it made me forget about the everyday worries, mindless unintentional scrolling or any activity that leaves your mind lazy and bored. No thanks.

    Here, I share with you our week full of art activities that were fun for my brain, mind and soul. Here goes:

    We tend to underestimate the power and beauty of art in little things around us. I urge you to try something that feeds your mind. A hobby that’s just yours for you to have fun and have a good time. It had the same effect on me as reading poetry. All week it was exciting to have a fun project planned. Now, I have something new and exciting to fill up my days with. I would highly recommend you try carving out some time for a hobby. No rules. No explanations. Just fun.

    Here’ a little tip: find something that brings your thoughts and focus on the now. You have to be fully present and immerse yourself in your choice of activity.

    It was a gentle reminder of this quote from the Deads Poets Society: “We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

    Lastly, don’t underestimate your hobbies- whatever they might be for you. Don’t be scared to make mistakes, have fun, unlearn what you already know and learn something new. Look at things from different perspective.

    Do you have a hobby? Are you someone that would love to share their hobbies or flaunt their work? I’d love to hear/see your art.

    P.S.

    Have an exciting weekend. Treat your mind with love.

    xx

    Yachna

  • Do You Take Yourself On Dates?

    Do You Take Yourself On Dates?

    I am going to give you the best dating advice. Before you date someone else, consider taking yourself out on dates.

    When I first moved to Edmonton, I felt very lonely and sad. I deeply missed my old life-family, friends and everything in between. 

    Having no friends, in my free time, I would go for long walks. During those walks, I would stumble upon parks, cafes and art galleries. The daily ritual of going for long walks and exploring the city soon turned into a beautiful necessity I looked forward to. 

    I look back now and am grateful – in enacting that small ritual, through it, I was saying, “yes, I matter,” even when I felt tiny in that stage of my life. 

    Fast forward to the present, I have realized that when we start dating someone, we want to know everything about the person we are dating. We go on several dates with that person. We have such keen curiosity about learning everything about our partner’s likes, dislikes, hobbies and passion.

    But how often do we look within with the same curiosity? Today, I want you to plan your most ideal date: a hike, a gourmet meal or a wine tasting. As for me, it’s usually one the following:

    1) Live Theatre:

     In my very first semester of university, I had an assignment- to write an analysis of Shakespeare’s Hamlet- a live theatre performance. Not having been to a live theatre show, I was beyond excited. I remember being mesmerized with the whole experience. I had never experienced anything like it. Up next on my list are Les Miserables, The Lion King and Moulin Rouge. 

    2) A City Gateway 

    A few years ago, I had a layover in Dallas for a few hours, which later extended for 12 hours. Staying at the airport for that long just seemed like a drag. So, I decided to get a train pass to Dallas city. I took a train to the downtown, went to the Dallas Museum Of Art. Followed by lunch at this nice pizza place and then some chocolate ice cream for dessert. 

    Had it not been for the delay in my flight, I don’t think I would have made the deliberate effort to explore Dallas. Since then, I have taken mini trips to different cities. I also just really love something about feeling anonymous in a new city. 

    3) A Picnic

    One of the downfalls of living in Edmonton is that we rarely have sunshine here. So, during summers I love to pack a picnic with my favourite snacks, drinks and a book in a local park. And, just soak in all the sun I can. I usually go home after sunset. Easily one of my favourite solo dates. After every picnic, I always say to myself, “I need to do this more often.”

    4) Cocktail and Dessert

    Last year, my friend and I planned a girl’s date night at a local lounge. It was a beautiful Saturday night, and I pulled out my favourite dress and my best shoes. Soon after I got to the bar, my friend cancelled due to a last-minute emergency. 

    Having already been sitting at the bar for 10 odd minutes, it seemed silly to not order a drink. The thing is, I had never been to a bar by myself. So, I felt very awkward sitting there by myself. But, one drink turned into several paired with a chocolate mousse. That night I thought to myself, “why haven’t I done this before?” Honestly, it was such a sanity-saving, luxurious evening, and even just remembering it brings a smile on my face. It’s one of the best dates I’ve ever had.

    5) Home Cooked Candle Night Dinner

     Sometimes the best nights you will spend are the ones that you spend with yourself in the warmth and comfort of your home. Treat yourself to a home-cooked candlelight gourmet meal with a glass of wine and just enjoy the night. I think it’s essential to cook that beautiful meal, even if it’s just you. After all, the most important and significant relationship you have is the one with yourself. 

    6) Movie & Dinner

    When I was in high school, my brother would often go for afternoon movie matinees solo. I found it unusual and weird at the same time. I had never seen anyone go for a movie alone. It was always a social thing. He would never wait around for his friends to go for movies; he would just do it if he felt like it. Following his footsteps, I started going for movies solo, followed by dinner. A perfect date that you could never go wrong with.

    What are some of your solo date night ideas? I would love to know.

    P.S.

    You are your soul mate.

    xx

    Yachna

  • The Secret To Living A Happy Life.

    The Secret To Living A Happy Life.


    Lately, I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be happy.

    Everyone I have met has a different definition of it. Lately, I have been feeling some kind of way about everything that is happening in the world. I am angry, frustrated, sad and then all of it together.

    I could no longer keep going like this. Everything felt like a drag.

    To life myself up, I decided to re-read my journals titled ‘My Happy Days’.

    After going through all those journal entries, I realized for me happiness was synonymous with gratefulness and being content. The days I practised gratitude and gratefulness were in fact, my happy days.

    However, this was not always the case.

    When I was younger, I chased after materialistic things. Back then, I associated happiness with superficial and materialistic things. For instance, I thought having a good shoe collection would elevate my life. Or, fame, hot boyfriend, model looks, great ass, etc… The list is endless.

    I was naive to think any of it will be a factor in the quality of my life. They weren’t. Neither will they ever be.

    I have since realized that happiness remains hidden in little things…

    It is to stop and smell the roses. Savouring the present. Enjoying good food with the your people. Long walks. Night sky full of stars. Good coffee. Great wine. Ice cream on a hot day (or any day). Amazing sex. Caring for others. Practising kindness.

    Just open yourself up to the little joys of life. And, that’s the secret.

    Just a a few hours after writing this post, I stumbled upon this beautiful poem on Pinterest (of course, where else?) that ties in with this post. And, I wanted to share it with you…

    We’re waiting for tomorrow,

    But tomorrow never comes,

    Our last breath is right upon our heels,

    Yet we still refuse to run,

    86 400 seconds,

    And we’re in another day,

    All slipping through our fingers,

    As we look the other way,

    Days, weeks, months and years,

    Are made up of right now.

    A string of fleeting moments,

    That we never can pin down,

    We gaze into the future,

    As though it’s where we’re meant to be,

    Always planning for that day,

    When we can say that we’re happy,

    We spend so long looking forward,

    That we may as well be blind,

    Since we don’t see until the very end,

    All the things we’ve left behind,

    Now I know it’s just a theory,

    But I think I’ve worked out how,

    The only way to happiness,

    Is to love what we have now.

    P.S.

    So simple. Who knew?

    xx

    Yachna

    (Illustration by Yaoyaomva) (Poem by Erin Hanson)

  • On Becoming Actively Anti-Racist.

    On Becoming Actively Anti-Racist.

    The recent tragedies of Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd and Breonna Taylor have left the world in agony, outrage and doubt by the ones that should protect us.

    Basic fairness and justice is all that has been repeatedly asked for. And, it has not been given.

    I am frustrated. I am tired of being tired. If you feel the same way, then this is for you.

    I am no expert in anyway but here are five steps we can all take together to do better:

    1) Making the goal to become Anti-Racist:

    In the words of Angela Davis, “ In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist.  We must be anti-racist”.

    Confront privilege. Understand your own biases. Take some time out to sit and examine your patterns of thoughts and behaviours. This is the most difficult part. To look within and introspect if we are in anyway biased intentionally or unintentionally. And, then correct those patterns.

    Call out your friends and family when they say racist things. Speak up!!

    I have been racking my brain on what to say. No words I had seemed enough. No words will ever be enough. Nothing seemed right. But, then I realized it’s important to say something. In the words of Martin Luther King Jr. , “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

    Yes, I am brown. And yes, I have experienced racism.

    However, I know that I will never fully understand the systematic oppression and racism faced by my black brothers and sisters.

    I will never fully understand the vulnerability of being black, when any white person could end your life at any moment without little to no consequences.

    And, that is heartbreaking.

    The “I don’t See Colour” mantra is not the goal here. In fact, the goal is understanding the injustices that black people suffer because of it.

    So, “See The Colour”, accept it, and stand against the injustices that happen because of it.

     That’s THE goal.

    2) Reading Books:

    As a non-black person, I try my best to expand my knowledge in any way I can on Black Lives Matter.

    Here a few books you can read to educate yourself:

    a. Between The World And Me Ta-Nehisi Coates

    b. The Hate U Give Angie Thomas

    c. Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi

    d. The Autobiography of Malcolm X Malcolm X

    e. Born A Crime: Stories From A South African Childhood Trevor Noah

    f. I know Why The Caged Bird Sings Maya Angelou

    g. White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism Robin Diangelo

    I would love to hear some of your suggestions on this as well in the comments below.

    3) Listening, Watching, and Learning:

    There are a lot of other resources besides books to educate yourself.

    Thanks to the following accounts on Instagram that you can follow to expand your learning on race and racism:

    a. ShaunKing

    b. Blklivesmatter

    c. TheConsciousKid

    d.Naacp

    Subscribe and listen to these podcasts on important discussions about racial equality and justice:

    a) 1619

    b) About Race

    c) Code Switch

    d) Pod Save The People

    e) The Diversity Gap

    f) Momentum: A Race Forward Podcast

    I would also recommend watching, “When They See Us” a Netflix documentary. Many parts of the documentary were difficult to digest. But, it’s a crucial watch.

    4) Understanding That Racism Is A Systemic Issue:

    Racism is not an individual issue. It’s a systematic issue. The “justice” system is designed to oppress the people of colour. It has repeatedly failed people of color. Police brutality is the first step of a process that treats people of color as less than human. And unequally. This is deeply rooted in our system. Educate yourself on  anti-blackness North America was built on.

    5) Donate:

    Support by donating to black- owned businesses and organizations. Here are some organizations that you can donate to today:

    No Justice. No Peace.

    P.S.

    “There comes a time when silence is betrayal.” SPEAK UP!!!

    xx

    Yachna

  • Reflections At 27!!

    Reflections At 27!!

    I am 27 years old today. 

     And, I am happy. 

     I say this so plainly because, well… it takes time. 

    My late teens were intense- moving to Canada directly out of high school was extreme. The newness of everything was massive on me. I missed home. My family. My friends. I cried. A great deal. 

    When I reflect on my early 20s, I see a girl who persistently presumed she wasn’t enough. I didn’t fit in. But, at the same time I didn’t want to stand out or be different — I wanted to feel part of a group. Any group. 

    In retrospect, what I had been looking for was some type of validation. I wanted somebody else to notice me and tell me that I was good enough. I searched for approval and acknowledgment outwardly. Not knowing then, that everything that I ever needed to be happy was already within me. 

     I can’t pinpoint one specific moment when I realized things within me needed to change. All I needed to do was believe in myself just enough to know that I will be fine. I was terrified of being alone. Ironically, spending time alone is how I rediscovered my happiness. 

    You need to know that you are enough.  An actual existence mantra that stayed with me from my past encounters; currently is engraved at the forefront of my thoughts. Being 10 pounds lighter won’t make you any happier or dressing a specific way won’t make you any cooler. Neither will investing in a relationship that drains you. 

    You are complete with or without a partner. You are enough just as you are.

    So, for my birthday, here’s what I would like as a gift: I need you to put resources into yourself. I want you to challenge yourself. I want you to stop gossiping. Seek connections that inspire you, to buy someone coffee just because, try something new that scares you. To be kind to yourself. Saying I love you to somebody who needs to hear it…and then to tell yourself right back. I want you to find your happiness. 

    I did. It’s never felt so good. 

    P.S.

     I am enough. So are you.

    xx

    Yachna Atthi