I am excited to kick off the first installment of the blog’s new relationship column. Today, I will be starting off by answering the first question I got on my Instagram by a reader about dating (I’d love to hear some of your responses on it too).
Q: “You know what I’m dealing with this situation right now, where I talked to this guy I used to go to school with, but I’ve been getting extremely mixed signals from him. He said he didn’t want to talk as much but keeps hitting me up still! I have enjoyed his company, but I also feel like if I reply to him & act like everything’s okay, I’d be putting my integrity on the line. I like this guy, but I also don’t know what to do here.”
Girl, I feel you. I’ve been you. I cannot think of anything more frustrating to deal with.
When a guy truly likes you, there will be no mixed signals. Mixed signals come from the man who isn’t just that into you. I know that sounds harsh, but it has proven to be true in all my dating history. When a guy tells you that he doesn’t want to talk as much, I would just leave him be.
He still hits you up and tells you that he doesn’t want anything serious means he just wants to have fun and also on his terms. Clearly, not on yours. That’s not okay.
I would set some boundaries, even if you want something casual. He likes you but also wants something casual, that’s fine if you want the same thing. But, both of you should be able to reach out to one another without feeling like you’re giving up your self-respect. The feeling needs to be mutual. However, you are not feeling that way.
Another thing, when you have to act like everything’s okay and suppress your true feelings to keep the conversation going, then you know it’s not a healthy setting. You will never have to feel like you are putting your integrity in line with a man who genuinely cares for you. We, women tend to think that men usually are not good at expressing their feelings. Let me tell you, that’s not true at all. When a man likes you, he will make sure you know that he’s into you. Believe me, when I say men go above and beyond for the woman they have feelings for.
Remember, always put your self-respect over feelings. Casual or serious, it doesn’t matter.
Do you have any words of advice that you would like to add to this situation? Do you have any questions that you would like to answer in the next week’s column? Please let me know in the comments below.
P.S.
xx
Yachna
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