I am 27 years old today.
And, I am happy.
I say this so plainly because, well… it takes time.
My late teens were intense- moving to Canada directly out of high school was extreme. The newness of everything was massive on me. I missed home. My family. My friends. I cried. A great deal.
When I reflect on my early 20s, I see a girl who persistently presumed she wasn’t enough. I didn’t fit in. But, at the same time I didn’t want to stand out or be different — I wanted to feel part of a group. Any group.
In retrospect, what I had been looking for was some type of validation. I wanted somebody else to notice me and tell me that I was good enough. I searched for approval and acknowledgment outwardly. Not knowing then, that everything that I ever needed to be happy was already within me.
I can’t pinpoint one specific moment when I realized things within me needed to change. All I needed to do was believe in myself just enough to know that I will be fine. I was terrified of being alone. Ironically, spending time alone is how I rediscovered my happiness.
You need to know that you are enough. An actual existence mantra that stayed with me from my past encounters; currently is engraved at the forefront of my thoughts. Being 10 pounds lighter won’t make you any happier or dressing a specific way won’t make you any cooler. Neither will investing in a relationship that drains you.
You are complete with or without a partner. You are enough just as you are.
So, for my birthday, here’s what I would like as a gift: I need you to put resources into yourself. I want you to challenge yourself. I want you to stop gossiping. Seek connections that inspire you, to buy someone coffee just because, try something new that scares you. To be kind to yourself. Saying I love you to somebody who needs to hear it…and then to tell yourself right back. I want you to find your happiness.
I did. It’s never felt so good.
P.S.
I am enough. So are you.
xx
Yachna Atthi