Sidewalks

Tag: love

  • Getting Over Romeo

    Getting Over Romeo

     

     

     

     

    I have always been a die-hard romantic. Growing up, I devoured romantic movies like candy. I remember crying ugly, messy tears while watching A Walk to Remember and The Notebook. Those passionate confessions of love under pouring rain were everything to me. And Romeo and Juliet? Their love story was the epitome of romance for my teenage self.

    As I started having crushes, I craved that all-consuming, fairytale love I saw in movies. But as I grew older and experienced my first heartbreak, the fantasy shattered.

    Suddenly, Romeo and Juliet wasn’t a romance—it was a tragedy about infatuated teenagers making terrible decisions. And don’t even get me started on romcoms. They’ve done more damage than good. One of the biggest lies they tell us is, “If he’s mean to you, it’s because he likes you.” That is the most toxic thing we can teach anyone. It sets girls up to tolerate poor treatment and tells boys it’s okay to be mean to girls.

    It’s no surprise that some of us end up in deeply unfulfilling relationships when we’re told that suffering is part of the deal. Somehow, we’ve accepted the belief that love must be intensely passionate, dramatic, and painful to be real. We’re constantly fed the fantasy that real love can magically fix everything. But in reality, relationships built on heightened emotions rarely stand the test of time.

    This weekend, as I sat in my room reflecting in my journal, I reread my thoughts: Why do we keep going back to people and relationships that bring us pain? Why do some of us keep ending up in unfulfilling relationships? Why do we hope against hope, even when it’s clear things aren’t going to change? Because we think love should be hard? We’ve been taught that suffering is a part of love. And that belief? It’s poison.

    We put all this effort into fixing things—sending another long text explaining our feelings, putting up with excuses, compromising time and time again—only to find ourselves back in the same place, asking for the same things a year later.

    Why don’t we cut our losses sooner? Why do we torture ourselves by staying in unfulfilling relationships? Why do we hope things will change when all the signs say otherwise? Why do we think one more apology will magically fix things? Why do we stay for the potential we see in someone rather than the reality they show us? How many times have you waited for that commitment that never came? It’s time to stop torturing yourself in the name of love.

    I recently watched Love You Zindagi, and Shah Rukh Khan’s character, Dr. Jehangir Khan, said something that hit me hard:

    “Sometimes we choose a difficult path only because we feel that to attain important things, we need to choose a difficult path. We think that it’s important to punish ourselves, but why can’t we choose a simple path? What’s wrong with that? Especially when we are not ready to face that difficult path.”

    This quote literally switched something within me. It’s so simple and yet so profound. We’ve been taught to glorify struggle as if it’s a badge of honour. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, or anything worth having in life, we think we need to suffer to prove our worth.

    I’ve stayed in relationships long past their expiration date. Looking back, I realized how much time I wasted trying to fix relationships that I knew weren’t right for me. If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: you don’t have to settle for a love that hurts. Walk away when it’s not working—because the right love will never ask you to sacrifice your peace.

    No matter how rosy the beginning of the relationship was, it’s time to leave if it doesn’t fulfill you anymore. Most people don’t deserve a second chance, and some don’t even deserve the first.

    Love is not about intense burning desire or dramatic highs and lows. Neither should it send you to therapy. It’s about the everyday moments of calm and kindness. It’s about choosing to be with someone and finding comfort in consistency and predictability. But when we find someone like that, we freak out. We think it’s too easy and simple.

    So what do we do? We run back to the familiar pain of unfulfilling relationships because that’s all we’ve ever known. But why are we running away from something just because it’s not filled with drama and suffering?

    The only rule to live by when it comes to relationships is: are they kind to you? If they show promise but never deliver, it’s time to walk away. If they offer empty promises and apologies but never change, walk away. You don’t owe anyone suffering. Neither do you deserve it.

    Lastly, I am ending this post with something a dear friend once told me: “Love is supposed to strengthen you and build you, not break you into pieces.”

     

    xo

    Yachna

     

     

    Love should feel like peace, not pain. Drop a comment with one thing you’ll no longer tolerate in your relationships and let’s inspire each other to raise our standards.

  • 36 Questions To Fall in Love

    36 Questions To Fall in Love


     

    What if dating was as simple as getting to know another person?

    Dating doesn’t have to be a game. It can be as simple as getting to know another person. Discovering the depths of another person is only possible when we show up as our true selves, but we must be willing to let our true selves be seen too. 

    How honest are your dating experiences, really? Lose the games. To make it easier, we’ve compiled 36 honest questions to fall in love 🫶

    Now, take turns answering and asking each question. How do you win? Stay honest. 

    Level 1 

    For what in life do you feel most grateful?

    What are you feeling a lot lately?

    Who in your life do you feel most yourself around? Why?

    What is something new you’ve learned about yourself recently?

    What part of your job energizes you the most? Leaves you the most drained?

    What about you has felt repeatedly misunderstood by others, if anything?

    What are you overthinking right now?

    What’s a non-negotiable in your life?

    What does friendship mean to you?

    What did the people who raised you teach you about love? How has that shaped your views on love today?

    Which one of your parents’ personality traits do you want to keep? Let go of?

    If you could change anything about how you were raised, what would it be? Why?

     

     

    Level 2 

    How do you define dating?

    Describe your worst heartbreak. What did it teach you?

    Has sex ever been a deal breaker in your past relationships? Explain. 

    Have you ever considered an open relationship? Why or why not?

    Do you have any unconventional opinions when it comes to romantic relationships?

    When was the last time you ghosted someone, and why?

    What was the worst date you’ve ever been on?

    What dating advice would you give your younger self?

    What’s the hardest part about dating you?

    How has your view on love evolved, if at all?

    What have you tolerated from others that you no longer have space for?

    What has being single taught you about yourself?

    I know I really like someone when (fill in the blank)

    Share something you typically wouldn’t do on a first date. 

    How emotionally available do you currently feel? 

     

     

    Level 3 

    What do you think I was like in high school?

    Just by looking at me, what do you think I do for a living?

    What was the first thing you noticed about me when we met in person?

    What are your three favourite physical features of me? Write them down and read them out loud. 

    What about me intrigued you besides my physical appearance?

    What do you think my type is? Describe in detail. 

    How many relationships do you think I’ve been in? How many times have I been in love? Explain.

    What do your friends know about me, if anything?

    For what in life do you feel most grateful?

     

    Share this with someone who needs it <3

     

    xx

    Yachna

     

    (Pics in the order they appear: Pinterest, ‘Hands’ by Tony Belobrajdic, Sundays are for lovers.)

     

     



  • 14 Questions To Ask Your Crush.

    14 Questions To Ask Your Crush.

    Does your mind draw a blank when you’re talking to your crush?

    So many thoughts rush to your head when you’re talking to your crush, one of the frequent ones being, “oh no, what do I say?”

    Getting to know your crush can be an exciting and nerve-wracking feeling all at the same time. Sometimes, you may find yourself in awkward silence, not knowing what to say (no, thank you).

    We, as humans, deeply desire emotional intimacy, which is why I have put together 14 questions to ask your crush. Grab some wine and cozy into these nostalgic conversations to connect with your crush on a deeper level. 

    HOT TIP:  If your conversation takes a turn, and you aren’t sure where it’s headed, just listen. You always look like a great communicator when you listen.

    1) Who is the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else?

    It could be one of their family members, childhood friends, co-workers, or maybe even their hairstylists. Their answers could reveal the depth of their relationship with others and the kind of relationships they seek with others. 

    2) Where is your favourite place? 

    Everyone has a special place, a place where they go to disconnect from reality, clear their mind and connect with their deeper self; it could be their grand ma’s house where they spent their summers or only a place where they feel relaxed, or that special place perhaps is their dream city or a vacation spot.  

    3) If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

    Maybe your crush has always wanted to learn a musical instrument or a language? Upon asking this question to a friend, she immediately replied, ” I wish I had skipped school more often. I could have missed a day and still learned what I needed to.”

    Get creative with this one 🙂

    4) Complete the sentence: I wish I had someone with whom I can share… 

    Let yourself be surprised with this one! Maybe your crush is a foodie and wants to explore their love for food with someone. Or, they love dancing in front of the mirror and wished they had someone to share their goofy side with.

    5)  Share a positive characteristic you consider about your crush. 

    Tell them what you admire and respect about them. Giving compliments and being vocal about them deepens the bond between any two people almost instantly. Maybe you like that they are always on time, keep their word, or they make you laugh. Use this as an opportunity to compliment the things you like about them.

    6) What’s the song you listen to on repeat? (<333333)

    Listening to someone’s favourite song, it’s like mentally holding their hand. There is not a deeper intimacy than listening to your favourite music together.

    7) For what in life do you feel most grateful?

    Gratitude is an emotion that makes a person feel happier. Tap into the simplistic beautiful things of life by unlocking the magic in this question.

    8) Do you have a favourite book? A line in a piece of literature? A poem? Why is it special to you?

    My favourite!!

    Maybe it’s a book that remained with them ever since they read it or a story that influenced their life somehow, or perhaps they love to read travel books to learn about different people and cultures around the world. Di

    9) If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner ( dead or alive) who’d it be? 

    What a fun question! Your crush could name their favourite celebrity, a god, or it could be something more personal like a deceased loved one they wished to spend more time with.

    10) If you could take one day off to do anything you want, how would you spend the day? 

    I once asked my friend this question curious to know how’d she spend her perfect day. Her response was so profound, “I would not like to do, I would just like to be. To have a planless day, to live in the moment, to enjoy the company of my loved ones unrushed, to stop and smell the flowers.”

    Her response was of the most beautiful perspectives on the question.

    11) What is the most beautiful thing in the world? 

    We are all so different from each other and it’s these differences that makes us so beautiful and unique. Asking someone what’s the most beautiful thing in the world invites you into your crush’s world perspective. 

    12) What would you consider to be your deepest fear? 

    We cannot know a person’s life and its challenges at a glimpse. We all carry our own deep fears and insecurities within us. Through this question, it opens up space for being vulnerable, leading to a more meaningful conversation. 

    13) If you died tomorrow, what would you wish you had done?

    This question opens up a person’s deepest desires. Not always are we vocal about our dreams in fear of it being silly, made fun of or even leaving it for tomorrow. Life can be so unexpected. If we are brave enough to follow our heart, it leads us to a beautiful destination. This question could spark a little fire in both of you to carpe diem!!

    14) What scene in a movie has evoked the most feelings out of you?

    We all have a movie that has moved us, inspired and sparked an emotion in some way or other. It could be a character, story, theme or a mood. Watching that movie can make them slip into their little world. Discussing themes, plots and story of your movies will add on to the fun and depth of the conversation.

    Have you ever thought of asking any of these questions to your crush? Do you have any questions that you’d like to add? Let me know in the comments below 🙂

    Sending the biggest hugs your way 🙂

    P.S.

    An awesome dating tip 🙂

    xx

    Yachna

    (Picture Credits in the order they appear: Featured Image in.a.relationship.with.freedom, wildchldd, Paris photo by Anthony Delanoix, viintageheart, vintageefeeling, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button).

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  • A Beautiful Love Story.

    A Beautiful Love Story.

    I came across this beautiful love story on The Humans Of New York (duh, where else?). It was one of those stories that teared me up. I couldn’t stop thinking about what it must be like to experience a love like this. I hope we all get to feel something like this someday.

    “He had five daughters. And whenever he came home from a work trip, we’d all line up to give him a kiss. But he always kissed my mom first, because she was his ‘first love.’ Then he went on to his ‘second love,’ and his ‘third love.’ On weekends we’d all pile into the car and take these long road trips. We’d drive for hours, and the whole way he’d be singing to my mother. It was a normal thing for us, because we were used to it. But that kind of affection wasn’t normal in our culture. We used to have these karaoke parties with our extended family, and everyone else would sing normal songs. But Papa would choose these old, romantic Bollywood songs. And he’d sing directly to Mama. She loved every second of it. She’d get dressed up for him. She’d put on her brightest red lipstick. And she’d do her hair just as he liked it, even after she got sick. The tumor was deep in her brain. After every surgery, more and more of her would slip away. When she couldn’t walk properly anymore, she grew embarrassed of her limp. So Papa held her hand wherever they went. He’d sit next to her bed, and stroke her cheek, and recite the Quran until his lips went dry. Some nights he’d fall asleep sitting up in his chair, but then he’d wake up, and begin praying again. In her final moments, when she was slipping away, he leaned close to her and whispered: ‘You won’t be alone. I’m coming with you.’ I heard him say it. And I got so angry. It seemed selfish to me, as if the rest of us weren’t worth living for. But all his children were grown. Most of us had our own families. And I guess he felt like there was nothing left for him. Every day he visited Mama’s grave, even though we told him not to. He applied for the plot next to her, and every few hours he’d ask if the cemetery had called. He was obsessed. When the paperwork finally arrived, I rolled my eyes. But he got very quiet. For the next two days he barely said a word. Then on the third morning, he walked in our front door and told me he wasn’t feeling well. I bent down to help him with his shoes, but he collapsed on the floor. There wasn’t time for him to suffer. Because by the time the ambulance arrived, he was already gone.”

    I was an emotional mess after reading this. What about you? It seems so silly sometimes; the simplest things leave a deeper impact on you.

    P.S.

    How do you know your partner is the one?

    xx

    Yachna