Have you ever been to therapy?
I recently stumbled upon a Bored Panda post where people share the best things they learned in therapy so that everyone could get some free therapy. It was just what I needed! I’m currently exploring free therapy options, and reading these nuggets of wisdom has been so uplifting.
Here’s some of the best advice that really spoke to me-
1. Never compare yourself to other people but even more importantly never compare yourself to fantasy versions of how your life would’ve turned out had you made a different choice. That’s the most dangerous mind game of all.
2. Everyone needs a coping mechanism. There are bad ones (drinking, drugs, violence) and good ones (exercise, meditation, therapy). Pick a good one so you can avoid the bad ones, because we all have things we need to cope with.
3. Anxiety is not the intuition.
4. Pay attention to your inner child. When you feel yourself overreacting or getting triggered, she’s usually the source. Check in with her, ask her what she needs without judgement, give it to her, parent her, physically love on her and then send her off to play.
5. Your experiences, your trauma, your pain, they are beads. And each experience complies a necklace we wear. But we are not our traumas. We are the string underneath.
6. If you can imagine the worst thing, you can imagine the best thing. Both things are imaginary. Say outloud verbally the positive outcome, repeat until it feels more real.
7. The best thing a therapist ever told me is that society doesn’t need to set my schedule. I am allowed to eat breakfast at 11 and go to bed at 1 a.m. There’s no correct mold to fit; just find whatever works best for me.
8. Someone blaming their bad behaviour on something (their childhood, family, situation, etc.) only may be an EXPLANATION for their behaviour but it does not EXCUSE it. Don’t let anyone guilt trip you into feeling bad for them when they were the ones in the wrong.
9. Break everything down into smaller pieces. No, smaller. No, even smaller. The first step to taking a shower is walking to the bathroom.
10. When meeting new people, don’t think about it as trying to get them to like you- think about it as trying to see if you like them/ if you get along with them. Rather than focusing on what they must be thinking about you, focus on what you think about them.
11. Avoid saying “should.” Its too easy to fall into pressuring yourself and pushing yourself too much. Reframe and rephrase. “I should excercise” —> ” I like how I feel after I excercise”, “I should do laundry” —-> “I deserve clean clothes.”
12. “How do you process all of the negative feelings that are projected at you?” and he said, “They aren’t my feelings.”
13. I was discussing with my therapist that although I’m still young, I felt like it was too late to achieve what I wanted my life to be. She very seriously looked me in the eye and said “Are you dead?” “Well….no” “Then there’s time” and it’s a motto I’ve been reminding myself of daily.
14. Anger is a secondary emotion. If someone is angry, they were something else first. That’s why we say, “try to understand where they’re coming from.” It means literally look for the origin of their anger, and speak to the initial emotion, not the anger itself.
15. There are two ways people grow from trauma:
- a) they went want anyone to feel as bad as they did ever again.
- b) they want everyone to feel as bad as they did because its unfair they went through it and others didn’t.
Be the first person.
16. Anger is sadness’ bodyguard.
17. You’re never spending time by yourself, you’re spending time with yourself. You are good enough to spend time with, even if its just you.
18. Sometimes you don’t deserve closure. The people you’ve hurt don’t owe you forgiveness even after you’ve changed for the better. Some bridges are burned forever, and sometimes its better that way for all parties. You have to move forward and be better for you, not someone else.
19. Decisions do not have to be labelled right or wrong. You made a choice that you believed was best based on the information you had at that time. When/if your future self discovers new info that changes your mind, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed or made a “bad” choice.
20. Your brain is responsible for keeping you alive, not keeping you happy. You have to be intentional about bringing joy into your life.
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What do you think? What would you add? Sending hugs, empathy and unconditional respect out to anyone who needs it :*
P.S.
16 Things Every Person Should Do for Themselves Once a Year
(Photo by Pinterest)
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