Sidewalks

Tag: pleasure

  • 8 Step Guide to Sex After Baby

    8 Step Guide to Sex After Baby

     

    Giving birth changes everything. You’re a parent now. When your body goes through such a powerful transformation, it’s only natural to feel discomfort, pain, and tiredness. Your priority is the miraculous new life you have created. Sleeping, eating, reading, drinking tea, you name it, and giving birth changes it.

    Does it mean you have to say goodbye to a sexy time with your partner? Giving birth does not mean saying farewell to your juicy sex life. The health experts recommend waiting for at least six weeks after giving birth before having sex again. But, you take as long as you need before you feel comfortable. Listen to your body and give it all the time it needs.

    Sex can be as satisfying as before your baby came along with these nine juicy tips approved by sex educator and intimacy coach Simone Farschi–

    1)Yoni Steaming 

    Yoni steaming is an ancient, powerful ritual and practice used in many cultures to support yoni wellness and feminine power. The healing herbs in the steam gently penetrate deep into the vaginal canal, cleansing the womb of toxins.

     It’s excellent practice for restoring connection from our female body, increasing yoni/uterus healing time from birth, cleansing, and getting you tuned in. 

    I would highly recommend you check out the ultimate guide to yoni steaming that you can do from the comfort of your home. 

    2) Sex without sex

     Fact: After birth, our bodies are less forgiving when it comes to penetration without full arousal.

     You may be well ready for sex but are worried that it might be painful. Most mothers find it challenging to get it on after childbirth, making it more challenging to go into sexual space mainly because our bodies are not ready. 

    Talk to your partner, and let them know you desire an intimate sexual connection. Forget about penetrative sex for a while. Instead, explore new and exciting ways to give and receive pleasure.

    HOT TIP: Don’t underestimate the power of deep intimacy of eye gazing or holding hands that have nothing to do with physical touch.

    Even if it’s just a few minutes to kiss before falling asleep at night. Let your partner know that you enjoy pleasure outside of lovemaking by saying, “I love it when you gaze into my eyes and gently kiss my lips.” Even if it’s a single moment, allow yourself to stay there a little longer. Take it slow. Enjoy each other’s bodies and enjoy the now without expectations of where it will lead. 

    3) It’s okay to ask for help

    Your mind and body need time to adjust physically and emotionally to this beautiful and exhausting new chapter of your life. 

    This can be a real challenge for most mothers. Next time you feel overwhelmed about your to-do list, pause and check in with yourself. Be honest about your needs. 

     Give yourself a break. Lean on your partner because trust me, they might not know what you need help with- so this is your opportunity to let them in. 

    4) Reconnect with your voice 

    Own your birth story. Claim your experience. This is something we often overlook. Be the writer of your story. Remember how strong you are and all the times that courage has pulled you through. 

    Reconnecting your voice starts with getting clear about your feelings and what you desire. You will find you have a new voice; she is strong, and it may feel overwhelming to see this new woman, but she’s a warrior, and she’s fierce. Embrace it. 

    5) Set aside time for romance

    Don’t let the romance fizzle out. Once the baby is a few months old, it might be wise to plan weekly date nights where you and your partner get to spend some much-needed alone time. Go out for a romantic candlelight dinner. Indulge in sensual massages or foot rubs. Cuddle with your partner, falling asleep in their arm. Let yourself feel your partner’s body. This will help you surrender yourself into a space of safety and receiving. 

    6) Keep talking to each other

    You need each other. Now, more than ever. Speak honestly with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. Many couples struggle to adapt to their new roles as parents. Check in on your partner daily. 

    Discuss: How are you feeling? How are we? How are we as parents? How are we as a couple? What can we do to be there for each other right now? 

     Remember, you are two people nurturing a new life together. Give space and honour each other’s experiences and emotions while supporting bringing it back to a plan for togetherness. 

    7) Be kind to your body

    The first few months after your baby’s birth are the toughest. Your body is recovering. Your body goes through numerous changes throughout pregnancy, including hormonal changes and weight gain. One of the major concerns women have is with their post-pregnancy body.

     Let go of any unrealistic expectations of what your body needs to look like post-childbirth. Find acceptance in the present state of your post-birth body. Always remember how powerful your body is, and the miracle is performed. Yes, your body did that! 

    Be kind and accepting of your body. Share positive messages with yourself. Your body and outlook on the world have changed, and that is beautiful, wise and attractive. 

    8) Invite new pleasure into your life

    Take time to move your body by doing daily stretches, taking walks with your baby, or indulging in long relaxing baths. There’s no rush. Start where you are, and listen to your body. The happy hormones released through exercise will do wonders for your mental health. Take a few deep long breaths. You got this, Mama! And for an added dose of self-love, schedule yourself that massage you so deserve! 

     

    Is there anything else that you would like to add to the list? I’d love to hear your thoughts/comments on this.

     

    Remember to share this with a momma to brighten up her day <3

     

    xx

    Yachna 

     

    P.S.

    6 powerful ways to reconnect with your mind, body, and soul 

     

    (Featured Image by Mehran Djojan)

     

  • What Turns You On?

    What Turns You On?

    Seriously though, the past few weeks have been intense! Pleasure is the last thing I have time for or can even think about when there are so many other things to be navigating right now. Or so my inner voice always says.

     I find myself craving a deeper and meaningful experience in times like these, which is a cry for help for more intimacy that can easily slip our minds. It wasn’t until I attended a self-pleasure workshop lead by Simone Farschi, a sex coach who helped me bring new awareness to connect with my body on a deeper level through pleasure mapping. 

    What is Pleasure Mapping?

    Pleasure mapping is a practice, much like yoga or meditation, to better explore your body on a deeper level, authentic desires, expanding your ability to receive more pleasure. 

    In simple words, it’s the practice of getting to know your body and how it responds to various touch, sensations, and potential emotional stories held in those areas. In pleasure mapping, we’re just noticing everything. Where do we feel resistance? What do we enjoy the most? How can we change up our routine to experience more pleasure? It’s an incredible way to practise slowing down and savouring the journey. 

    You can practise this on yourself and can also explore it with a partner. When practising pleasure mapping, you’re encouraged to be more playful, have curiosity, as if you know nothing about yourself or your partner. Having an open mind allows opens up room for more pleasure. 

    Follow along if you want to feel more pleasure in your sexual life, intimate life, personal life and your daily connection with the world with SIX simple steps – 

    1) Listen to your body

    “Your body is a vast landscape with much beauty and pleasure to be explored,” says Simone. Communicate with your body so you are entirely in alignment with your needs and desires. Create a conversation with yourself and ask your body, the most intimate parts, what they have to say. Allow the parts of you that often go unnoticed a space to be heard. 

     For instance, ask yourself, “how does your body feel when the touch is light or deep. Does this (touch) feel good or just blah?” suggests Simone. You’ll discover new ways of touch or old ones that just continuously hit the spot. After all, this is the time to awaken and be in your most divine feminine truth and sensual power. ⠀⠀⠀

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    2) Bring attention and awareness to your body

    Allow yourself the deep awareness to slow down, become curious, and explore your body from your best lover’s perspective.

    Pleasure mapping is all about having a deeper connection with our bodies and awareness of what we like and what we don’t like and connecting with all of it on a more juicy level. Noticing your body, are there any kinds of aches or pains? We are not ever judging ourselves, just bringing all our awareness to our body gently. ⠀⠀

    Use this time and space to awaken your senses so that you can fall into deeper satisfaction either with your partner or through self-pleasure. It gives you the awareness to notice the nuances that generally pass you by in life – allowing for greater presence, intention, relief, and connection. 

    3) Take your time

    Self-pleasure is something we do in secret by staying quiet, performing quickly, and taking as little space as possible. We rarely ever give ourselves the time to notice the small things about how we like to receive pleasure, how we want to receive intimacy when we are not with a partner. 

    When we give ourselves the time for some self-pleasure, it’s usually very quick, and we have these patterns repeated since we started connecting with our bodies. Connects with your desires — giving your thoughts and emotions a voice while giving you space and time to receive with ease and grace. 

     So, set aside some alone time. If lighting candles, playing some relaxing music, putting on some sexy lingerie gets you in the mood, then do it. Make sure to turn off your phone, lock your door, and be present with yourself. 

    4) Remember, there’s no finish line:

    As a sex coach, Simone often advises against having any expectations or agenda when indulging in self-pleasure (this rings true for partnered sex as well). 

    “There is a whole lot of sensation to experience before we get to the big O, such as waves of feelings, emotions, sensations, desires, and flows of pure ecstasy and anticipation before that, and frankly even after. It’s those little things, the build-up and then the sweet aftercare that makes most of the experience.” 

    So, instead of worrying about whether you will come or won’t come, bring awareness to how incredible and fun touching yourself feels. 

    5) Don’t go straight for the clit:

    There’s a tendency for women to go straight for the clit when indulging in self-pleasure. One of the biggest takeaways from Simone’s Pleasure Mapping workshop was to break that habit. 

    Simone wants you to take time to turn yourself on first by exploring other parts of your body that often go unnoticed. “Try light touch on the neck and forearms, pinch/squeeze your nipples, massage your inner thighs, gently rub your belly,” Simone says. “This will get the juices flowing and create room for more pleasure.”Doing this opens up the capacity for sensation.

    6) Breathe:

    Focusing on your breathing helps build a deeper connection with your body and calms down the nervous system. It brings your awareness back to the present and helps escape any distracting thoughts. Just concentrate on deep inhaling and exhaling, and your body will take care of the rest. 

    Let’s take a breath together to access more pleasure in our lives.

    xx

    Yachna

    (Information credits for this blog go to Simone Farschi, a sex and intimacy coach. For more information on all the sexy stuff, you can become a part of her community Pleasure Plus).

    (Image Credits: Pleasure Plus)

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